@Coach_NoBuxx (based on a true story)
Every day, wakes up to a two-digit follower count.
Agonizes over post creation for half a day, every day. Still searching for "the perfect hashtag."
Buys shoutouts, gets nothing, but a loud "flush of money down the toilet." "Are my followers even human?"
The only email addresses he has belong to friends and family.
"Instagram is a waste of time. None of these people interact with me, let alone give me money."
Works incredibly hard for every penny he gets. And at the end of the day, they're just pennies.
Killing himself for no gains.
"IG Immersion? I don't need that crap. Besides - it's $297. Who has that kind of money?"
(<-- He does!)